It’s 10:53PM on Tuesday night. I just spent thirty minutes on the elliptical in my pre-training regime for my half marathon on December 15th. for Run the Rock, an annual event held on White Rock Lake in Dallas to help support local charities. I’ve also decided that I want to write professionally. Either as a freelancer or author, either way I’m hoping to be able to make my living by being creative.
I was struggling to find something to write about, and in an effort to make my writing more organic, more… readable, I decided to check out all of my blog feeds and see if something would come. I started reading Kristin Armstrong’s blog, and she wrote about metaphorical runs. Runs that teach you something about yourself. Runs that “pull away the veil” if you will and reveal the deeper, richer elements of life. Things that can only be illustrated in moments of challenge and beauty…
When I decided I wanted to run this half marathon I decided it was going to be for something more than fitness or weight loss. I want to run for something that transcends trends and fads. Something greater than the dissatisfaction of being over-weight or not as fit as I used to be. I want to run because I feel that I need to test myself against myself. I need to find out what I’m made of. I need to know that if my commitment to something out-weighs the excuses I make not to pursue something or work for something that I can achieve it.
And thats what seems to be the theme that runs through out all this. Commitment. Commitment as more than a mental obligation to some pre-determined goal, but to find yourself. To dig deep and test your resolve. Commitment is not what you determine before hand. Commitment is what you cling to when you find yourself in the throes of tumult and challenge that threatens to rip you from it. When the screaming voice of doubt is not silenced, but ever present as each drop of sweat and blood ripples through your hear and comes tumbling down across your face. As the the burn of muscle aching begs you to stop your resolve, buried under excuse and self-doubt, is slowly dug out with every stride.
Thats what commitment is. Will you commit?